Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
