i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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