Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
