Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
