I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
