that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
