I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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