Will you blow on my dice?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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