don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
