You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
and she was petting her beer can
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
