girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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