I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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