white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
