A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
