You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
