upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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