"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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