if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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