i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
