member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Randomize
