Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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