I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
