terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
