I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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