Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
