My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You can't just leave with hair like that
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
