You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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