why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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