The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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