i just google imaged poop.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
