I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Your dad touched me again.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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