Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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