guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
