but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
