Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
