Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Your cock deserves a montage
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
