So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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