it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
