i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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