I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
