I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
