Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
