I think my fart just growled at me.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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