You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
