We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
