So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Randomize
