I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
