So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
