does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
