He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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