I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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